The Steamiest TV Commercials Ever

What a joke. Forbes of all magazines has found time to waste in yet another endless round of meaningless "best ever" stories, this one titled the same as this post. These types of stories are so inane and pointless as to defy logic, reason and simple ice cube level intelligence it isn't even funny. But, since they took the time to write and publish it, I can manage the time to rip it to shreds.

First of all, the judges "judged" 35 commercials... TOTAL! 35 commercials? 35!!? Are you kidding me? That doesn't even need to be addressed does it?

Watch the name dropping in the article, they even mention the research company that provided the meters for the judges to vote with. What, they found it tiring to write notes on 35 commercials? Even if they watched :60's, thats a half hour tops. Just on a normal day I probably watch that many commercials at work and I don't turn on the television. (Unlike so many in the industry, I actually watch commercials. A lot of commercials.) Poor judges. The name dropping continues, as does the total lack of historical perspective from the participants. I love this quote from Liz Vanzura who is an Emerson College professor and the former global marketing director at Cadillac! (Whoa, you'd think she'd know better. Know better than to participate in a stupid "best ever" article like this one that's based on 35 commercials!) When she remarked on the famous 1994 Diet Coke ad that depicted an office full of women ogling a buff construction worker pulling off his shirt and drinking a Diet Coke. Nothing wrong with the ad, it was great actually. But get this quote, "It was the first time that a marketer turned the table and showed women appreciating male bodies." Really? C'mon Liz you can't possibly mean that. Yes the ad was a breakthrough, in the way it showed things and the mainstream appeal that it generated... but the first time? I don't think so. Not even close.

They are right about some older ads never being able to run today. So they did manage to make a single worthwhile point in the article. Sadly, that point comes at the very end. Otherwise its a load of tripe. And I wrote this post because I read it and wasted five minutes of my life doing so. I'll never get those minutes back. Ever.