Review: Aliens Vs. Predator 2

It sucks. How's that for a beginning? Sadly the sequel to the first AVP is even worse than you could possibly have imagined it would be. For those that complained about the first movie, I hope you are happy now. In comparison, this version makes the first one seem Shakespearean! It is simply horrible in any way that matters, filled with nothing that makes it worthy of the title Alien or Predator.

Just out of curiosity I went over to Rotten Tomatoes before I wrote this to see how bad it was doing. It currently has a 14% approval rating. Which I find shockingly high. My son and I went to see this one together, we are both HUGE Alien and Predator fans and we enjoyed the first AVP very much, despite its flaws. We were not expecting much from the sequel, but we thought it would at least be fun and enjoyable. It isn't. In fact, we did something we very seldom ever do during a movie, we started making fun of it during the film. We usually wait until the movie is over before making fun of it, but this one was simply impossible to sit through with a straight face. Did I mention that it sucked?

It isn't even a "good" bad either, it is just bad. So bad it is embarrassing. It isn't scary. It doesn't add anything new to the legend of either the Alien or Predator legacy. It is, in fact, written exactly like a bad teen slasher film, except with Aliens in it. You don't care for any of the characters. They're all stupid and the acting is worse than daytime drama bad. The editing is even bad, in one scene the editing is soooo bad that it looks like a little girl is looking through a night-scope at one of the other characters eating dinner! Urgh.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love movies. I very seldom HATE something, I can usually find something to like in even the worst film that I've paid to see. But I am struggling to come up with anything positive about this movie. The brothers Strause should be banned from ever making another film, they should be forced to return to visual effects forever. Please, don't let them make another! For all that's Holy and right, they must be stopped.

Honestly, I could go on and on about what's wrong with this film. But why bother? From the beginning to the end it simply is horrible, laborious, tired, stupid, uninspired, re-hashed, nonsensical, lacking tension, missing innovation and genuine feeling of any type. It is bloodier and gorier than the first AVP, I will give it that. But as far as story goes, it simply doesn't. For my money I'm going to pretend I never saw it.

How could this happen? The idea, the concept, of the Aliens and Predators being let loose on Earth is such a potentially great idea! It really is. And now it is ruined for all time. Thanks guys. We probably won't see another AVP and maybe that is just as well given what these two idiots have done with it.

Giant Rating (1 to 10): 1.5